Chimp Eastwood

By Fotis V., 4th Grade, Avoca West
That's Weird, Grandma Other Venues TOTL 2006

In the year 2082 scientists had discovered an island separate from the U.S. In the US we have 52 states. This island was said to be part of the US. This made the US now have 53 states. This island was so big that half was the Wild West and the other side was the Calm East.  In the Wild West almost everyone broke the laws, but not in the Calm East. There was 1 thug gang and they were the only ones who broke the laws. In the Wild West there was tons of robbery, explosions, street fights, beer with so much alcohol that it steamed. But there was 1 really really really really really really really bad guy. His name was Black Dog. He was the guy that was always ready for a fights. Always ready for a beer, and always ready to kill! On April 22, 2082 there was a chimpanzee that found a sack of gold. This chimp was educated. He knew how to read, he could understand things, but always made mistakes, this chimp was called Chimp Eastwood. 1 day Eastwood was climbing a house and he accidentally fall down the chimney. He saw a computer at the end of the room. He was staring at the computer and he said “com-pooter!” so he trotted to the computer and accidentally loged on. Then he went to a house buying site and bought a house in the Wild West. Then a message popped up saying “there will be a private plane waiting for you at the San Francisco airport at 9:00 PM today! The chimp wrote this down and right when he was going to leave there was another message asking if he wanted to pay online or with cash at the airport. He put an X in the “pay for this online” box and clicked finish. 30 min later he was at the airport with his luggage and a human dumy that was holding his hand. In the monkeys head was a computer chip so when someone told the dummy something the chimp needed to think up an answer in his head and the dumy would say it. This made it easy for the monkey to board his private plane.

When Eastwood was at his new house in the Wild West he fell asleep in his bed. Meanwhile Black Dog won his 64th gun duel in a row. The next morning Chimp Eastwood was carrying a bucked of water when Black Dog came through the door of the bar and Eastwood spilled water on Black Dog. Black Dog stared at Eastwood furious. He said “What your name monkey?” in a very nasty way. Eastwood replied “me Chimp Eastwood.” Black Dog said “What kind of name is that, Bulgarian?” everyone laughed. Then he continued “How about a duel, eh?  Tonight at 8:00. In front of this here bar. Got it sunny?” Chimp Eastwood replied with a nod and a shake. At 7:00 Chimp realized he didn’t have a gun. So Eastwood took his bag of gold and went to the local gun store. He traded all his gold for 2 golden guns, a jacket full of ammunition, and a gun belt.  Then when chimp was home he fell asleep.  Meanwhile Black Dog was on his 10th beer, checking the clock every 2 min.  right after Eastwoods alarm clock went off the doorbell rang. There in the doorway stood a coat seller, with a yard stick.  The man said, “Hello Eastwood. I was just hear to measure how big you are for your grave.”  Chimp Eastwood answered “Why my, sir?” The man replied “Well, the odds are that you will be shot tonight at around 8:00. so why not prepare in advance?” He measure how big he was and left. The time had come. He had to walk to the bar with his ammunition, 2 golden guns and his gun belt. There was black dog standing waiting he yelled “what took you so long? I’ve been waiting for what feels like a century. Lets start the duel right now. Shall we?” Black Dog didn’t wait for an answer. He was as fast as lightning. He whipped his gun of his belt and fired. “click, click, click.”  “Ah Man” he bellowed and Chimp Eastwood shot him in the heart 2 times “Bang!! Bang!!” Black Dog was dead. His record in duels is 64. That’s a good record, but when he lost to a chimp he must have been embarrassing.
You might think Eastwood won, because of luck. Maybe you think he was not naturally born to kill. Or maybe you just think he’s got a lot of skill. But I cannot tell you which one is correct.