PlayMakers Laboratory Story Archive
Stories that appeared in the 2005 Theater On The Lake show.
By Kimberly S., 4th Grade, Cleveland School
That's Weird, Grandma
Once upon a time there was 2 men and a lady. The lady liked both of the men so she decided to be a cheerleader. After one of the men figures out and they decide to fight to see who wins. When the cheerleader saw that they where fighting she went to see them and one of the mans called Juan died. So she decides not to do that again.
By Octavio R., Davis Shields (now Columbia Explorers Academy)
Dialogues
That's Weird, Grandma
There was once a game show called U Can’t Win. The game show host was called Dorito and his assistant was named Elmo. He was the one who escorted the people out of the stage. The contestants were Al Gore, a woman named Helga and Pete construction worker.
Dorito: Welcome to your favorite show U Can’t Win. Our contestants today are Al Gore, Helga and Pete construction worker. Our first question is for Helga. Here is the question. How many shoes?
Helga: What is the rest of the question?
Dorito: That’s the question.
Helga: OK. 7.
Dorito: Sorry the answer is 9 because U Can’t Win! (audience cheering) Our next question is for Pete construction worker. The question is, in Alaska the snow is…
Pete: That’s easy the answer is meatloaf.
Dorito: Sorry, the answer is meatloaf.
Pete: That’s what I said.
Dorito: Sorry but I didn’t hear you because U Can’t Win (audience cheering).
Pete: Dis is not fair.
(He attacks Dorito. Elmo comes out and takes Pete off stage. And he says Elmo knows where you live.)
Pete: I’ll be back.
Dorito: Pete construction worker and Helga have been disqualified. Al Gore you have been chosen to go into super sudden death. You’re gonna have to eat 300 meatballs in ten seconds (audience cheering).
Al Gore: I sure do love meatballs.
(Dorito starts counting sown, when he reached 3 Al Gore says he’s finished)
Dorito: Sorry, that was 303 meatballs cause U Can’t Win.
Al Gore: I demand a recount.
(Helga comes out a grabs Dorito and throws him to the audience and he yells U Can’t Win.)
By Ramiro M., 4th Grade, Cleveland School
True Stories
That's Weird, Grandma
The place that I travelled was my 6th year old birthday. It was winter and it smelled like cake. I had ben bitten by 12 moucitos. Everyone of my family was there. I had a lot of presents. When it was time for the cake, my dad and my mom dunked my head in the cake. And my best present was my whoopee coushin. It was special because when I did my homeworok I sat down on it. It was also special because when I play my PSP I’ll just lay down and relax.
By Fotis V., 4th Grade, Avoca West
That's Weird, Grandma
Other Venues
TOTL 2006
In the year 2082 scientists had discovered an island separate from the U.S. In the US we have 52 states. This island was said to be part of the US. This made the US now have 53 states. This island was so big that half was the Wild West and the other side was the Calm East. In the Wild West almost everyone broke the laws, but not in the Calm East. There was 1 thug gang and they were the only ones who broke the laws. In the Wild West there was tons of robbery, explosions, street fights, beer with so much alcohol that it steamed. But there was 1 really really really really really really really bad guy. His name was Black Dog. He was the guy that was always ready for a fights. Always ready for a beer, and always ready to kill! On April 22, 2082 there was a chimpanzee that found a sack of gold. This chimp was educated. He knew how to read, he could understand things, but always made mistakes, this chimp was called Chimp Eastwood. 1 day Eastwood was climbing a house and he accidentally fall down the chimney. He saw a computer at the end of the room. He was staring at the computer and he said “com-pooter!” so he trotted to the computer and accidentally loged on. Then he went to a house buying site and bought a house in the Wild West. Then a message popped up saying “there will be a private plane waiting for you at the San Francisco airport at 9:00 PM today! The chimp wrote this down and right when he was going to leave there was another message asking if he wanted to pay online or with cash at the airport. He put an X in the “pay for this online” box and clicked finish. 30 min later he was at the airport with his luggage and a human dumy that was holding his hand. In the monkeys head was a computer chip so when someone told the dummy something the chimp needed to think up an answer in his head and the dumy would say it. This made it easy for the monkey to board his private plane.
When Eastwood was at his new house in the Wild West he fell asleep in his bed. Meanwhile Black Dog won his 64th gun duel in a row. The next morning Chimp Eastwood was carrying a bucked of water when Black Dog came through the door of the bar and Eastwood spilled water on Black Dog. Black Dog stared at Eastwood furious. He said “What your name monkey?” in a very nasty way. Eastwood replied “me Chimp Eastwood.” Black Dog said “What kind of name is that, Bulgarian?” everyone laughed. Then he continued “How about a duel, eh? Tonight at 8:00. In front of this here bar. Got it sunny?” Chimp Eastwood replied with a nod and a shake. At 7:00 Chimp realized he didn’t have a gun. So Eastwood took his bag of gold and went to the local gun store. He traded all his gold for 2 golden guns, a jacket full of ammunition, and a gun belt. Then when chimp was home he fell asleep. Meanwhile Black Dog was on his 10th beer, checking the clock every 2 min. right after Eastwoods alarm clock went off the doorbell rang. There in the doorway stood a coat seller, with a yard stick. The man said, “Hello Eastwood. I was just hear to measure how big you are for your grave.” Chimp Eastwood answered “Why my, sir?” The man replied “Well, the odds are that you will be shot tonight at around 8:00. so why not prepare in advance?” He measure how big he was and left. The time had come. He had to walk to the bar with his ammunition, 2 golden guns and his gun belt. There was black dog standing waiting he yelled “what took you so long? I’ve been waiting for what feels like a century. Lets start the duel right now. Shall we?” Black Dog didn’t wait for an answer. He was as fast as lightning. He whipped his gun of his belt and fired. “click, click, click.” “Ah Man” he bellowed and Chimp Eastwood shot him in the heart 2 times “Bang!! Bang!!” Black Dog was dead. His record in duels is 64. That’s a good record, but when he lost to a chimp he must have been embarrassing.
You might think Eastwood won, because of luck. Maybe you think he was not naturally born to kill. Or maybe you just think he’s got a lot of skill. But I cannot tell you which one is correct.
By Takeymha B., 3rd Grade, Chalmers
Dialogues
Characters: Hula Girl, Hawaiian Sand
Setting: Hawaii
Hula Girl: Hawaiian sand that is a funny name.
H.S.: Well don’t worry about it Hula girl.
Hula Girl: Well I am sorry do you want to see my Hula dance.
HS: Ya ya let me see.
HG: Okay!
HS: That was awesome!
HG: Thank you. Do you want to go out for dinner.
HS: Yes. Shake it Hula girl shake it
By Diamond W., Stockton
True Stories
Poems
That's Weird, Grandma
I don’t know what to write about.
Then I just shout.
Now I’m really really mad
And I’m feeling sad.
It seems like I’m going to cry.
But I’m going to fry some onions to cry.
By Ross M., 3rd Grade, South Loop Elementary School
That's Weird, Grandma
Once apon a time there where 3 inventors. One of them was named Mark. Another one was named Sam. Another one was named Fred. Mark is inventing wooden things. Sam and Fred are making things for plants. One day Sam said lets make a automatic waterer. So Sam and Fred made hose that will water the plants. Mark made the button that you push to make the hose water the plants. They made it all out of 1 hose, wood, medal, and pipes. It only works in the summer because if you turn it on the pipes will freze. It is the summer right now. They asked a person that works at a hardwere store if they could buy it. The person said “yes.” So they sold it and a lot of people bought it. Everyone thought it worked realy good. So they got so rich they bought 5 manshions, 10 limos, and 100 antique things. The End
By Stefanie G., 4th Grade, Cleveland
That's Weird, Grandma
Once upon a time there was a woman named Alice who loved leaves so much that her house was full of leaves from the park. Then one day she opened her window and sunlight came in and she loved her house even more. One day she met her brother that she never knew she had one. She went to the beauty shop and grabbed some lipstick to go to a piano show. She loved Piano’s very much. When she was a girl she wished to have a piano. Later she went and saw her brother playing piano and singing. He made a mistake and is so embarrassed his cheeks turn red.
The End.
By Caroline F., 4th Grade, Harper
That's Weird, Grandma
Other Venues
Wilmette 2008
A long time ago there was a dad and boy named Max. Max’s mom died when he was a baby. Max and his dad lived on a mountain in Colorado in the middle of nowhere. One da Max was taking a walk when a storm came. Max ran as fast as he could home. His dad was in the cottage cleaning up. Max approached his cottage and turned the knob. It was locked. Suddenly the wind swirled around and formed a human. Ahh!!! Max threw open the door and looked for his dad. He didn’t see him so he went back outside. The ghost started mouthing words “human, will you be my friend?” “yes.” Max started thinking what he just did. He made friends with a ghost. At that moment the storm went away. Max ran to his father. “Dad you have a scratch on your face.” On the side of the cottage was a note. Max took it inside and put it down on the table. He wondered how that scratch appeared on his dad’s face. And how he made friends with a ghost. How how how. Maybe his answers were on the note he found. So he went to the table and picked up the note and started to read. It said:
Dear Human,
I am like a tiny mouse and live next door to your house.
I am sorry my ghost mom and dad scratched your dad’s face. They are really mean but I’m nice. I’m glad we could be friends.
From Ghost
Max looked back where his dad was. He was gone! Max looked in the living room, bathroom, kitchen, and outside. Max didn’t see his dad anywhere. “Dad dad dad” said Max. no anser. Max looked back at the note. The note was different. The note in its place said:
Wa ha ha ha, human, we have captured your parent. He is held in the world of ghosts. And there is nothing you could do to stop us. Wa ha ha ha. From Ghost’s parents.
Max started to cry. Then he had a idea. He ran outside. And said “Ghost friend! Ghost friend!” just then the wind started to blow and swirl like a wild tornado. In frount of Max was his ghost friend.
Max said “ghost friend I saw a note on my cottage that was from your parents. And they took my dad. Do you know where they took him?” the ghost friend said “yes. But it is a dangerous place. I should go you shouldn’t. do you trust me Max?” “I don’t know what to say. Yes” The ghost gave Max a ring whenever he looked in it and said ghost friend. His friend will appear in the ring. Max said goodby to his ghost friend. Just then the wind started to blow. And swirl like a tornado. And the ghost Vanished. In its place was the ring. The ghost was in a ghost world. And was looking for a palace where Max’s dad was. Finally the ghost found the palace. Guards were surrounding the palace. So the ghost went around the back. And went inside where he found a winding staircase. When ghost got upstairs he found three doors. And went inside the 2nd one. Where he found more guards and in the back of the room was a cage and in it was Max’s dad. The ghost who was clever said in a low voice “guards come quick its an emergency.” When the guards heard that they ran out the door. Not knowing that ghosts parents were in the other corner ghost went to unlock the dad’s cage.
Suddenly ghost heard a voice “ghost you are in big trouble.” Ghost turned around and saw his parents. For a punishment they locked ghost up in a cage next to Max’s dad. Back at home Max couldn’t take it. He used the ring. So he said show me my ghost friend. At that moment Max saw his ghost friend and his dad inside cages. Max couldn’t beleave it his ghost friend failed. It was up to him to save his dad and ghost friend.
So Max wished that he was at the palace and within seconds he was. So Max went inside the back and up the stairs until he got to three rooms and went in the 2nd one. He found his dad and ghost friend. He turned around and went in the third room-the feast room. Next to the table was a bell. Max rang it. That meant it was dinner time. So the ghost’s mom and dad went into the feast room and sat down for dinner. Max slipped out the door and in the 2nd door. He rescued his dad and ghost friend. That day the ghost’s parents learned their lesson. And everyone lived happily ever after. THE END.
By Aaron H, 6th Grade, Loyola Park
That's Weird, Grandma
His name was Michael bob he was a bad man so the fairy came and said to him you are an abomination to the whole world now you will be a man first and when you least expect it you will be a baby again then you will be a man and then an baby then a man for all eternity the end.