Category: TOTL 2006

Stories that appeared in the 2006 Theater On The Lake show.

Fashion Police: Volume One

By Alexus F., 4th Grade, Harold Washington Elementary
Dialogues That's Weird, Grandma

Setting: In the Mall
Characters: Kyra and Fashion Police

KYRA: Man look at these clothes. Who are they made by. There made by Gucci.

FASHION POLICE: No, no, no. Put them pants down. You shouldn’t wear that.

KYRA: Why not?

FASHION POLICE: Because you’re not suppose to wear that with that Gucci shirt because leather and Gucci don’t go together.

KYRA: Well, what should I wear with the shirt?

FASHION POLICE: Let me think. You can wear corduroy pants or jeans. My work here is done!

A House

By Lucy N., Loyola Park After School Program
Holidays Winter Holidays That's Weird, Grandma

One day there was a house on ridge elfs lived there and the elfs just bought the house.  The next day the elfs lived there one of the elfs went to the bathroom and all of the elf went after him but they all wanted to go to the bathroom in the house.  There are 100 elfs waiting for the bathroom.  There is one bathroom in the house.  All the elf have name their names are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and on and on to 100 and elf number 1 says “We should have 100 bathrooms in this house.”  So number 99 went to the neighbor and used their bathroom.  Number 10 went to the school and all the elf went to the school except number 99 and 5 but the school was full so all the elf that are not 5, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 99 had to go home and hope that 5 is done…with the house bathroom so some one came and built 100 more bathrooms so all the elf can go to the bathroom the problem is solved.  The end

Aliens From Schaumberg

By Claudio, Loyola Park After School Program
Dialogues That's Weird, Grandma Other Venues Wilmette 2008

In the year 208XX the world Ersh have been almost positive of aliens being real.  People were doing that.
The aliens were planning something.

Aliens: We’re prepared for The Projects.
Alien Jon: He Bob, Joits Junying Fain. (alien words)
Alien Bob: The scientists made me into a giraffe.
Alien Jon: Want some Jub Jud (alien food), ya’ll?

Barbecued Chicken

By Anna C., Lincoln Park Words@Play Program
Poems That's Weird, Grandma

If you ever run into
a piece of barbecued chicken
run away as fast as you can to China.
If you get tired on the way
take a plane. If they give it to
you on the plane, start a food
fight. It will be fun. Just
make sure no one throws it
back at you. Then get off the
airplane and make hotel reservations.
Enjoy China, but remember
barbecued chicken is evil.

Black and Red

By Val B., Lincoln Park Words@Play Program
Poems That's Weird, Grandma

Black will taste like black cherries.
Red will taste like fake blood.

Black will feel like black hair.
Red will feel like blood.

Black will smell like worms.
Red will smell like blood.

Black will sound like crows crying.
Red will sound like someone bleeding.

Black looks like a shadow.
Red looks like a sunset.

Black reminds me of night.
Red reminds me of blood.

A black thing at home is a black PS2.
A red thing at home is a dead fish.

The Women Rampage

By Dante H., 4th Grade, Loyola Park After School Program
Songs Monkeys Come Alive Podcasts That's Weird, Grandma Other Venues TOTL 2005 Wilmette 2007

Once upon a time there was a room full of food and men, but no women. Women always wanted to get in that room, but women were not allowed! One day women started throwing rotten eggs at the room because they were so angry that they started breaking in to the room, gobbling the food, and beating up the men. It was a women rampage. Then after all that they rebuilt the room and women were finally allowed to go in.

Battle For The Light

By Simon W., 3rd Grade, Haines School
Dialogues Songs Monkeys Come Alive Podcasts That's Weird, Grandma Other Venues TOTL 2006

Characters: Black Elf/ Master of Darkness/ Magician of Light/ Master of the Sword of Light
Setting: Island of Darkness/ Island of Light/ Final Destination

Master of the Sword of Light (MOTSOL): Let’s head for the Island of Darkness.
Magician of Light (MOL): Be careful though.
MOTSOL: I will and you should help me.
MOL: I’ll come with you.
Master of Darkness (MOD): MOL and MOTSOL are fools.
Black Elf (BE): They will die!
MOD: They will once they come.
BE: They can’t stand up to our army of darkness!
MOTSOL: I sense darkness! Be careful!
MOL: I will MOTSOL. Spirits come to gather light! Yes spirits come!
MOL: Yes, now it’s an army of light!
BE: Head for the island of light!
MOD/BE: Yes, Island of light.
MOD/BE: Yes, Island of light is destroy!
MOD/BE: Yesssssssss!
MOD/BE: Muhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOTSOL/MOL: Head for the Final Destination!
MOD/BE: Follow them!!!
MOTSOL: Yesssss!!! DIE!!!!!!!
The End

Listen to the podcast episode adapted from this story!

Trapped In The Hospital

By Arturo S., 5th Grade, Cleveland School
Songs Monkeys Come Alive Podcasts That's Weird, Grandma Other Venues TOTL 2005

Once upon a time in hospital there were only two patients a lonely scientist and a talking Potato Chip they were injured in a car crash they were mad at each other they were in the same room and tried to fight. One night the hospital people forgot about them and they were locked in. They yelled and yelled but no one heard them. The lonely scientist was hungry and told the potato chip I’m going to eat you. The potato chip said help! He is going to eat me. The Potato Chip ran and ran the lonely scientist ate him and said yum yum. The end. Monkeys Rule!

First Kiss

By Joshua I., 3rd Grade, Harold Washington Elementary
True Stories Holidays Valentine's Day Songs Monkeys Come Alive Podcasts That's Weird, Grandma

In the summer time last year just about before the school year was over there was this girl named Diana [note from the typist: all i’s in ‘Diana’ written with a heart as the dot on the i] that I sorta had a crush on she smelled like fresh fruit or flowers she was like a dream come true so total hot that she could almost hypmatize me to do or give her something. I had the most scariest gang of rough friends ever even the 8th graders were horrified of us we were vicious like a swarm of wild sharks. Diana had the most prettiest friends and all of my friends go out with them but I got beauty and brains. One day something changed completely after we had art and washed our hands Diana walk in and turn off the lights and frenched me WOW tolito! Man she could kiss so could I ♥