Dr. Big Brain Apprehended in Rehearsals for Lincolnwood Show!
Posted by Philip on May 18, 2011
The following shocking news article may or may not be based on real stories from the Lincolnwood School show. Viewer discretion is advised.
EVIL HENCHMAN and BARREL OF MONKEYS COMPANY MEMBER - TIM SOSZKO, aka “Dr. Big Brain,” FOILED IN ATTEMPT TO TAKE OVER WORLD.
Reporting from Chicago Police Department.
This just announced folks - you can sleep easy at night, as police have finally apprehended the world wide evil henchman, DR. BIG BRAIN, thanks to the help of a young girl and a horse with the body of a horse and the head of a monkey. Who is this girl? Why, the lovely and mysterious Kate Staiger , who managed to dip Dr. Big Brain’s plans for worldwide destruction in chocolate water, we can sleep safe at night.
We have obtained a copy of his mugshot - do not be fooled by the cheery exterior - he is a MADMAN:
And one of our reporters was on hand to snap a shot of him being taken into custody:
Those handcuffs were real, folks! So real that the police took about 15 minutes back at the station trying to find the key to unlock them.
Dr. Big Brain has apparently not fared so well in jail as he awaits trial. It seems he only kept up such a cheery exterior with daily applications of make-up. This is how he really looks after only a few short days in custody:
Hideous!
Stay tuned for the dramatic trial, featuring an impressive line-up of friends and enemies scheduled to testify - including Derrick Rose’s Pet Monkey, Dr. Evil and his cousin Serial Killer Squirrel, Jacob the Beastie Kid, the superhero Squeagle, and of course the influential trio of spare change - “Moneyus, Moneyus, Moneyus”
WILL DR. BIG BRAIN GO TO JAIL OR WILL HE GET OFF SCOTT FREE!
ONLY TIME WILL TELL!