Star Wars? We Got Your Star Wars Right Here!

Posted by Jason on November 30, 2014

That's Weird Grandma TWG Weekly Update Touring Performances After School Program

Much of the online universe - including yours truly - was understandably abuzz this week after seeing the new trailer for the upcoming Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens.  A long time ago (fall of 2004) in a galaxy far, far away (Loyola Park), Claudio F. wrote “Star Wars 3”  - several months BEFORE the actual movie came out!  Since BOM is always on the leading edge of pop culture, we’ve brought back Claudio’s vision, performed word-for-word, for this round of CWG, and we invite you to read it now and see it Monday, Dec. 1 at 8:00 in the final “Chicago’s Weird, Grandma” show of the year!

Star Wars 3
By Claudio F. Loyola Park After School Program

LuK: It’s snowy today master.
Jar: Don’t worry. If you are patient it will be gone soon.
LuK: We are staying in de castle 3 more days.
Jar: We need food and supplies.
LuK: Then we are going to outer space.
Jar: Then we are getting to meet Turkey.
LuK: And then we are going to turkey city.
Jar: Then we are going to the sea to relax, take all the human souls to give it to another baby when the baby is gunna come. Now that the soul is gone, we’re going to give you tips about Jedis
To be continued
Jar: Now let’s practice
(They do. With sticks)
Jar: Let me give you tips. There’s a lot of Jedi moves. There’s difficult ones. But you are going to discover them alone
To be continued
Jar: Let’s practice in the ballogram. There we will get our sticks.
LuK: Let’s go first to metro city. Let’s get our octopus bus.
Jar: We have trouble. A giant octopus dragon is attacking us. Let’s go into a cave, we will be safe.
LuK: Oh no, the power is out. Let’s get our suits to swim.
They swim to metro city. To be continued.
To make war.
LuK: We win the war! Let’s celebrate!
Princess: I’m the princess. Now for helping us win the war you win the precious ball of justice.
The End

And in other Star Wars news:
*See what the Ewoks might have evolved to in “Love is Enough for a Bear”! 
*Banish the pod-races from your head with “I Believe Racing is a Cool Job”! 
*Learn the true secret of Yoda’s Jedi training regimen in “Yoga Class in California”!

Special guests this week: The Young Fugitives, performing their adaptation of “The Battle and the War”! (See how this all ties together?!?)

Say “Put this party stuff up” to Ambar at the box office for discounted tickets!