Posted by Molly on February 23, 2013
That's Weird Grandma
TWG Weekly Update
Three New Stories This Week!
NOT SO MUCH PRESSURE
by Lazaireus P, 5th Grade Morton 2012 Argument
(Song composed by Nicholas Hart)
I am Batman and I believe that I shouldn’t save the world every day. One reason why I think I shouldn’t have to save the world every day is because I is saving the world every day and he has a life and it should not just be about saving people because he could probably die just like other humans could. One more reason is because while he is outside trying to save the world who will save his family from danger because it’s not like he could teleport. The end
How to Make an Omelet by Stephen P., 4th Grade, Reavis Academy
1.) You need to go to the kitchen get everything you need
2.) Turn the pot on put the eggs on.
3.) Put little piece of meat on the eggs.
4.) You can put some cheese on the eggs and meat
5.) Take it out the pot and put it on the plate
6.) Now it is ready to serve!
Today I want teach you how to make a omelet.
Do you know how to make one.
I can teach you.
The End
Untitled (Animales en Amor Peligroso)
By Tania S.
4th Grade, Columbia Explorers Academy
1.
Character: El oso y la puerca
Setting: fue en una casa
Puerca: Ay que vonita estoy. Ay ay ay.
Oso: Vonita para comer ja. ja ja.
Puerca: No no me mate por favor.
Oso: Oque pero quiero que me des un vesito en el callete.
Puerca: Oque pero me dejas.
2.
Character: El pescado y el tiburon
Setting: En el mar
Pez: Ay voy a caminar poquito.
Tiburon: Vas a caminar o vas a se la sena jajajaja.
Pez: Quien esta alli si es un tiburon me voy porque me puedes comer.
Tiburon: Claro que to voy a comer jajaja.
English translation:
1.
Characters: The bear and the girl pig/pork
Setting: Outside and In a house
P: Ay, how pretty/hot am I, ay, ay, ay.
B: Pretty to eat, ha, ha, ha.
P: No, don’t kill me please!
B: Okay, but I want you to give me a little kiss on the cheek.
P: Okay, but leave me alone.2.
Characters: The fish and the shark
Setting: En el mar
F: Ay, I’m going to go walk a little.
S: Going to go for a walk or going to be dinner, ja, ja, ja.
F: Who is there? If it is the shark, I’m going because you might eat me.
S: Of course, I’m going to eat you, ja, ja, ja.
We’ll be taking next weekend off, so come join us!
For discounted tickets, please say “Ay que vonita estoy.” at the box office!
Posted by Molly on February 14, 2013
That's Weird Grandma
TWG Weekly Update
That’s Weird, Grandma brings back two BOM Classics this week:
Untitled (Fell in Garbage) by Cesar Cs, Stockton 2011
My sister fell on garbage and she cried. The end
Yo soy un Pescado By Ruby G Avondale-Logandale
Yo soy un pescado y yo creo que no resitan cómeme. Yo creo que no me copen en la tiena. Yo creo que no degen que el gato me coma. Yo creo que no me degen morime. Yo creo que no deven comer pescado.
English Translation: “I am a fish and I believe you should not eat me. I believe I should not be kept in a store. I don’t want you to look at me. I don’t want the cat to eat me. I should not be left to die. I believe you should not eat fish. Fin”
Make your reservations now!
Inform the box office that you are a fish (say: “Yo soy un pescado”) for discounted tickets!
Posted by Nick H on February 13, 2013
School Shows
In 1970, Sears began construction on the Sears Tower, (now the Willis Tower) and finished three years later in 1973. It is the largest building in the US.
Captain Ahab Frankenstein Lacy Campbell has been building a blown up 30-foot (30-FOOT!) humpback whale deep in the halls of Loyola Park out of duct tape and garbage bags. And she is finishing it tonight!
And it’s really awesome, and way better than the Willis Tower.
WHALE CONSTRUCTION:
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What else is happening in the Columbia Explorers’ show?
Oh, just evil poisoned hot dogs that turn you into zombies, cats eating the town, lazy librarians who won’t do their jobs, a glue stick that can talk and read your mind, and a little bit of an equestrian class.
Do you have any idea of the emotional preparation and stress of portraying a boy who has been poisoned by an evil hot dog and now has to be a zombie forever?!! It’s HARD. Hard on the brain. brains… brains… brains…
Gotta go! Time to rehearse. See you soon Columbia Explorers!
Nick
Posted by Molly on February 10, 2013
That's Weird Grandma
TWG Weekly Update
Another Great Day for Another Great Matinee!
Come join us for a fantastic lineup Sunday afternoon, with 4 new stories:
I AM A DOG by Thomas R, 4th Grade, Columbia Explorers Academy
I am a dog and I believe that all dogs should have clothes. My first reason is
when the dogs walk you could see their butts. My second reason is humans
have clothes but not dogs. My third reason is it is not fair. That’s why I believe
dogs should have clothes.
I Got My Hair Done by Gerina C, New Sullivan School
Friday I got my hair done by my sister friend at my grandma’s house. She came there to meet me and it was in the afternoon. We were talking and playing and watching some videos. They were music videos on MTV and JAM. My favorite was Trey Songs’s “Bottoms Up.” Then she did my hair and it looked nice. I liked it.
The Girl Who Had a Monkey Parianna B, New Sullivan School
It was a woman named Sady that she love her monkey. She feed it bananas. She take the monkey everywhere she go she take it to work. She take it to the movies and give it popcorn. And she would let anyone touch it and did not like they say she is mean. She had long hair and she have lip gloss. And her monkey is black and white. It is a boy or girl and she was married and very pretty and I like her. I think she is so nice. And she live by herself with her monkey and she have a wife. I think her boyfriend named 50 Cent.
DEAR CITY HALL (BUTLER) Ethan B Dixon Elementary
I believe that we should have butlers because we can have other people cook, do homework and do your chores for ever. While you goof off and play video games and eat junk food. Also you can have them eat your vegetables while you eat cake and candy. SO you can stay home and do whatever. While the butler goes to school and get you good grades and do all your work. Dueces people Learn it live it love it. PS Butlers rule!! And without butlers you never have a chance to be lazy for one single day.
Say: “Learn it live it love it” at the Box Office for discounted tickets!
Posted by Lacy on February 6, 2013
School Shows
Among the many radnesses that comprises Barrel of Monkeys is the rad of CHALLENGE.
Last night, at the first rehearsal of the Columbia Explorers show, we read a story about a kid whose birthday party gets crashed by ... A HUMPBACK WHALE.
All I could think of (as I giggled uncontrollably on the Loyola Park floor, tears streaming) was the actual size of a humpback whale. It’s like this:
But how can we do that in a school show? How could there possibly be anything THAT HUGE that we could feasibly 1) find 2) buy 3) transport to the school in a car?
Oh the challenge.
Oh the image of a kitchen that is completely filled, wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling, with a mammoth, fishy-smelling, glistening blubbery humpback whale… and a birthday girl. .
Looks like someone somewhere did this:
A mammoth whale made of garbage bags and duct tape? Sounds like a Barrel of Monkeys project to me! Stay tuned, dear readers! This challenge is about to get whapped in the face with a whale fin!
